Disclaimer: This is an opinionated piece and is not meant to offend anyone. Please keep that in mind as you proceed reading. Thank you!
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six years, and we are not married. I am twenty-five years old and my dreams and aspirations for the future do not include a marriage certificate. As I have gotten older many of my friends have taken the leap into marriage. But really, what is the point?
I never imagined having a lavish ceremony or a dreamy white dress to walk down the aisle in growing up. I knew early on that I wanted an equal partner where we would make each other happy and support one another in sustaining our relationship. If one of us was no longer happy or saw our lives going in different directions, then we would go our separate ways. I have always sought monogamous relationships and have enjoyed the long term connection that my boyfriend and I share. And as long as we continue to make each other better and support one another in our relationship there is no real reason we need to get married.
For me there are a few issues I have when it comes to marriage. First, is the commercial aspect. What is the point of spending thousands of dollars and stressing over mundane details, when everything will be done in just a few hours? Western marriages today are meant to declare love for one another and share that in the form of a celebration with close family and friends. But, I have participated and played for many weddings that just don’t seem to make that the focus. The cake, food, tablecloths, dresses, tuxes, and all of the other accessories will mean nothing once you are married. The memories of that day can be great to look back on, but is crippling debt worth declaring the love you already share with your partner?
The next and biggest problem I have with marriage, is religion. Now, many marriages are done without religion involved at all. But, I have personally encountered several religious family members who have questioned my relationship and our intentions. Living with my boyfriend before marriage was a big issue for much of my extended family. However, this was a crucial step in helping our relationship grow and created a stronger bond between us. Because religion is not a part of our lives, the pressure of getting married and living our lives through God is nonexistent.
My final problem with marriage is the stigma of getting divorced. Divorce is a solution to a problem. Any couple facing issues in their relationship can decide to break up. But once a couple is married it creates a more complicated system of being able to break it off with one another. Especially if a relationship is bad and/or abusive in marriage, it can be very difficult to leave. There should be no shame in getting divorced, just as there should be no shame in not getting married.
I think if marriage is stripped of these issues and comes back to being about celebrating a couple’s love, it can be a wonderful thing. Marriage should not be the benchmark every couple is trying to attain though. Happiness and true love are what is important to any kind of relationship and should always be the ultimate goal.