Thank you to my Partner

Disclaimer: This is a very mushy and heartfelt post. I do not typically act or write like this, but for my partner, I wanted to make an exception. If you go on reading, just know that you have been forewarned.

Thank you to my partner, lover, and best friend all in one. I never thought I would meet anyone who I could love so completely. My dreams and aspirations for the future were always one-sided. Before I met him, I was steadfast in being my own person and persevering through everything alone. I take pride in this mentality and continue to make sure that my independence is met in our relationship. He has shown me that I don’t have to lose myself in order to be with someone who I consider my equal. We have both grown immensely over the course of our five (almost six) year relationship and have been through so much together. As my partner he has shown me true compassion and care through all of my hardships and I hope that I have done the same for him. I want to share with you a few things that I have learned throughout my relationship. I am by no means an expert, these are just my own observations and biases in a monogamous and heterosexual relationship.

Respect.

This can be a loaded word and was used a lot in a threatening sense when I was a kid. But, without having respect for who your partner is and what he/she/they do, it can be difficult to form a real bond. When I am trying to make a tough decision in my personal or work related life, I want to make sure that my partner is continually honest and has appreciation for my decision making process. We see each other as equals and most of that comes from the respect we share for each other and our continued effort in not putting each other down.

Avoid venting.

This is something that can be tempting, especially if your partner does something particularly annoying, but trust me it is not worth it. Your relationship and its complications are between your partner(s) and you. When you vent to family members and/or friends about your troubled relationship, it can paint a poor depiction of what your relationship might actually be like.¹ If I am agitated by my partner I relay that information to them and only them. Usually our problem is over something stupid and temporary and is resolved quickly. When you share too many of your relationship problems with others, that is all they remember. Keep your venting limited and remember to share the positive attributes about your partner as well.²

Physical and emotional balance.

This is essential for both emotional and physical attributes of any relationship. Whether you focus more on the emotional and less on physical or vice versa, it is important to find the right balance with your partner(s). I need both a great deal of emotional support and physical touch in my relationship. I love having sex and long conservations with my partner. You have to find what works for your relationship and be honest with yourself. If sex and physical touch is not a priority for you, then don’t be afraid to make that known early on with someone.

Friendship.

I think for any long term relationship to work, you need to have friendship as your foundation. Whether you have that before the relationship starts or later on as things progress. My partner and I are in very different career paths, but we share many interests. This helped form our friendship early on in our relationship and has kept us as strong partners now. He is the first person I share good or bad news with and I know that I can trust him about anything because of our strong companionship.

There are many other factors that can go into any kind of relationship. Just be true to your wants and needs and how that fits with your partner(s). Also, being single can be great (trust me, I was for a long time). You can really take the time to learn about yourself and gain confidence by your own successes. Whether you are single or in any type of relationship, stay true to yourself and let happiness guide you.